Goodbye, Zetsu-saaaan! (TT.TT)/

Tobi, wearing nothing but the Akatsuki bandana Pein had given him around his waist and hanging down just enough to cover a certain area, ran up to the room he was sharing with Zetsu. In all of his manliness, Tobi did not look so manly. He didn't have a speck of pubic hair on him and besides his lack of boobage, he almost looked womanly in his hand-made loin-clothe. He banged on the door, crying and screaming.

"ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAN! ZETSU-SAAAAAAAN! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! OPEN UP! TOBI HAS HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, AWEFUL NEWS! WAAAH!" Finding that the door was locked from the inside out, he knew Zetsu was probably in there somewhere arguing with himself. So instead of waiting, he karate chopped the door knob, which didn't work too well, he just bruised his hand with no affect to the knob. But he knew he had amazing leg strength (because of all his work-outs as LORD OF THE DANCE) so he kicked the door down and barged into the room in almost full-nudity. "Zetsu-SAAAAN! TOBI IS BACK!"

Zetsu turned from his garden corner (what a wacky couple they are, loin cloth Lord of the Dance Tobi, and Garden Keeper plant man schizophrenic Zetsu), staring at Tobi. "What is that? Your back from the dead? That's fantastic, Tobi. What do you want?!"

Angry Zetsu looked mean as always, and happy Zetsu looked nice, making a strange combination into one face.

"ZETSU-SAN!" Tobi cried, tears streaming from his mask hole. He jumped on Zetsu, wrapping his arms and legs around Zetsu's waist and sobbing into his Akatsuki robe. "Zetsu-san, it is not fantastic that I'm back because I bring bad news! Pein has stolen all of Tobi's clothes and kicked him out of Akatsuki!"

"What did you do this time? Your an idiot, it's a good thing that your leaving. I'm going to miss you! I hate you, get out of my face! Are you never coming back again? That would be nice." Zetsu stared at Tobi, half of him trying to push him off, but the other one hugging him.

Tobi sniffled and felt a little better that half of Zetsu cared but he would've been happier if the other half had at least shown some sympathy so he hugged tighter. "Tobi's not gone for good! He'll be back as soon as he gets a job and pays back all of the money he spent at WALLMART." Tobi pointed to a six foot high pile of packaged ducky towels that he had bought at WALLMART. "The bargains got to Tobi and now he has to go out into the world all by his lonesome..."

"See, I would help you, but I hate you too much. Pein has me on some errands, I wish i could help you, I really do! I hope Pein realizes that your useless. Your needed around here, so you must fufill your duties of getting back the Wallmart wasted cash." Happy Zetsu smiled while angry Zetsu frowned. "I hope you come back soon! You won't be missed.. Everyone will miss you! ..."

Tobi was completely confused about if he should feel happy or depressed with Zetsu. So he let go and started wandering through the room. "Its so nice of Zetsu-san to want to help, its the thought that counts, really, Tobi's glad you care. But Tobi needs to take all of his stuff with him before he goes.." He picked up a dirty toothbrush and a blanket with doggy print and waddled over to the door. "If you have any last words for Tobi, say them now or forever hold your peace."

"Perish in a thousand burning flames.. We'll miss you, Tobi!! Have a nice slow and painful death.. Come back soon! Don't come back here until your dead.." He stood from the ground and smile/frowned at Tobi. It was suprising that Zetsu hadn't started beating himself up yet. "We luffles you! No.. we don't. We hope you stay safe! I don't even know what a luffle is.. Take care, Tobi!"

Dramatic tears came to his eyes as Tobi said goodbye to the only half person who cared about his well being and apparently luffled him. He nodded but lingered by the door longer. "So... Did you get Tobi a parting gift?"

Nice Zetsu held up his finger, a 'wait one second' sign, and reached into his Akatsuki robe. His face changed from strained, to confused, to angry, to relieved, while the other half continued to frown. He pulled his hand out, and there was a bright orange rose in his hand. "We got flower pollen on our chest, and this started growing. I saved it for you! I wanted to crush it.. Here you go!"

He skipped over to Tobi, half of him attempting to stay back. He handed the orange rose to Tobi, and the angry Zetsu searched for something on their body as well. Apparently he had something for Tobi, too. He pulled a dirty, half eaten lolipop from his shoe, and held it out to Tobi. "I hope your insides turn out and rip apart from poisionous germs that may not exist on this rotten candy."

Tobi tearfully took both gifts. He stuck the rose in between his mask and face so it stuck strait out of his head. Then he moved the mask up a bit so he could suck on the lolipop but his mouth was covered by the mask's shadow. "Zethu-ttthhhaaaan!" Tobi cried with the lolipop in his mouth. "Tobi will mitthh you forever!" Then he backed out the door, still, facing Zetsu. And, of course, he had to bump into the door, which accidentally pulled off his bandanna loin-clothe, leaving him standing there in all his manly glory right in front of Zetsu.

"Oh, oh my.. oh my good lord cover yourself!! Your smaller than I expected.. Please, for the love of trees, cover yourself!!" Nice Zetsu bent down and picked up Tobi's loin-cloth-bandanna thing, holding it out to him. "Here you go, Tobi. You touched it.. I would give you something to wear, but one, I don't think anything of mine would fit you, and two, I don't have anything but my Akatsuki robe. I pity whatever village your going to go to after this.. Don't get into too much trouble. And make sure to keep your little friend covered up.. you might blind somebody with it, and it may just be your boss. Try your best! Then again, I'd rather you do that and stay away from here longer.."

Tobi took the bandanna but didn't tie it back around, his pride was hurt. He sat down in the middle of the door frame and brought his knees up to his face, hugging them. "Tobi isn't that small.. Owie, now Tobi doesn't feel like doing anything today. Tobi doesn't even care if he blinds someone with his little friend, Zetsu-san has hurt him same as Sasori-san. Why is everyone so cruel to Tobi? He's such a good boy..."

"I didn't mean to, Tobi. I just call em' as I see em'.. And in this case, you can barely see em'! Hahaha!! Stop being so mean! Why should I? Becuase it's not nice. Like I give a damn, anyway.. What did Sasori-san do to Tobi? I think he ripped something of his off, that's why you can't see them.. bwuahaha! Quiet, you. Tobi?"

"Sasori-san's just a meanie pants.." Tobi crawled into a near by bush and stayed there. "Tobi doesn't want to have an adventure anymore. Tobi wants to stay here and binge on chocolate like a sixteen-year-old super model." Tobi glared at Zetsu through the bush and even if Zetsu couldn't see it, he could probably feel the hate waves crashing into him. "Tobi hates you." He paused for a moment and thought. "...Tobi hates BOTH of you."

"Fantastic, my job here is done. Oh, Tobi, I'm sorry! Would you like me to call Pein and tell him your trying to hide out in here? I didn't mean to, really! Oh, this is great!! Why don't you get out now so I can have a celebration? THERE WILL BE NO CELEBRATION!" Everything went completely silent, and Zetsu's face was even more confusing than ever. The mean side was slightly shocked, and the nice side looked like the angriest half of a face ever. "I'll go destroy Sasori for you.. ... I'll rip him apart and there will be one less worry for you here.. I'll devour him like the rest of my meals!!"

Zetsu went out of the room, in search of Sasori.

((ooc: Fun fun O_o))

Tobi popped out of the bush, scared as hell. He didn't want Sasori to get hurt because of him, he liked Sasori. Tobi liked EVERYONE. So after a few moments of waiting, wondering if maybe Zetsu would come back with a changed mind, Tobi crept out of the bushes and fallowed to Sasori's room. Thinking, along the way, how Zetsu would have splinters on his toungue if he ate Sasori.