Time to Eat Sasori

Zetsu smashed down Sasori's room door, half of his face looking angrier than ever. He noticed the puppet man turn his head from a scroll, giving the same bored look as ever. "You!! I'm really not sure what's going on.. I'll destroy you!!"

"Hm?" Sasori raised an eyebrow at him, still looking as bored as ever. "What is it, Zetsu? I told you already, I didn't touch any of your relatives. I used wood from Konoha to make my puppets, not your family members."

"That's not why I'm here.." Zetsu made his way over to Sasori, vines seeping through his robe and wrapping themselves around the puppet master. "I'll kill you.. I swear I'll kill you this time.."

Sasori stared at him, his face blank as the vines wrapped around him. "What's your problem this time, Zetsu?"

"Your mean to Tobi.. I reallly don't- Shut up!! Sasori, your a dead puppet. You hear me? I'm going to rip you apart and use your body parts to hold up my growing trees!!" The vines tightened around Sasori, and Zetsu moved his face so that it was inches from Sasori's. "Any last words?"

Sasori gave a short laugh, smirking at Zetsu. "A dead puppet.. and because I'm mean to Tobi? Who isn't? If your going to kill me because I'm mean to Tobi, you should kill the rest of the group, except for Konan. She's the only one in this organization 'with a heart'."

He shook his head slightly. "Last words, your a strange one, Zetsu."

"I think I'll stick with just killing you, besides, you've killed some of my family members. You wear them on your disgusting body like they're trophies. Another reason for me to destroy you!" The vines wrapped even tighter around Sasori, and deadly thorns shot out from the vines, ripping anything in their path.

Sasori frowned when he heard a loud snapping sound come from one of his arms. He sighed, closing his eyes as the metal wing-like blades folded out from his back, cutting the vines off of him. His Akatsuki robe dangled from Zetsu's vines, which were now cut apart and spewing blood. He stared blankly at Zetsu as the long metal rope-like thing twirled from his stomach. "You should leave now, Zetsu."

"Heh heh heh.. what's wrong, Sasori? Are you afraid? Did I crush your weak little arm? You shouldn't have put a perfectly good tree to such waste." He growled, his vines throwing aside the torn and useless robe. "Your going to pay."

Zetsu did a few handsigns, and the bleeding vines wrapped around the puppet master's legs, pulling him off his feet and holding him upside down off the floor. The vines spread some sort of mold around Sasori's knees, and it seemed to have an effect of weakening the wood that they were made from. "I'll make your body useless..."

Sasori glared at Zetsu, then realized that he was going to be immobilized if this mold like substance stayed on him. So, taking drastic measures, he used something that he had installed on himself recently. He opened his mouth, and a yellow coloured gas emitted from it, filling the room and surrounding them.

"Breath your way out of this one, flower boy.."

Zetsu growled, then started coughing. His technique was released, dropping Sasori to the floor. "Bastard.. I swear.. tch.. I will.. ack.. kill you!"

He dropped to his knees, in a coughing fit. But he wasn't done yet, and he did hand signs, slapping his hands to the ground. The room changed, now looking like part of a rain forest. A mossy tree's branches reached out and grabbed Sasori's arms, pulling him and pinning him to itself.

Sasori frowned, his head turned slightly and he stared up at the tree. "Why must you have done such a thing to my room. Really, do you care about Tobi that much?"

He turned his head to the puppets that had been in his room, the were hanging from another tree. He twitched his fingers slightly, and one of them moved, a blade extended from it's mouth and went after Zetsu.

Tobi ran into the room, (still naked) compltely unaware of all the change. He high-jump kicked the puppet in the side and it flew down, useless. Then he stomped up to Zetsu, slapped him across the face, and waved his finger at him. "Now you listen here, Zetsu-san! Tobi will not stand for you taking anger out on Sasori-sama! Sasori-sama doesn't make Tobi hurt that much, only little bits. Zetsu-san should be ashamed of himself for beating up Sasori-sama when he should be the one doing everything he can to make Tobi forgive him! Now put Sasori-sama down and tell him you're sorry!"

Sasori got a nice shot of Tobi's ass, and since he couldn't turn his head away, he was either forced to look or forced to close his eyes. So he chose the latter, since he didn't particularly like looking at Tobi's backside.

"Yeah, Zetsu. What he said.."

"Why should I do that, you hate me. I have nothing to do with it. Shut up! I wasn't only trying to kill him for just you, Tobi. I was getting revenge for my family members." The tree that was holding Sasori tightened it's grip on him, and a small snap could be heard. "He's going to get what he deserves."

Tobi decided fighting with Zetsu would not work so he would try his best to be understanding. So he sat down cross-legged and pulled Zetsu down with him. Hugging and rocking him, he made 'shushing' sound. "Shh, shh, it's all right. Tobi understands, family is important. But Zetsu-san has to know that the whole world destroys your family every day. They destroy your family by the millions, and sometimes just for fun. And to make it even worse, the one's they don't cut down are suffocating on carbon dioxide. So your family isn't just being decapitated, but also poisoned." He rested his head against Zetsu's shoulder. "There, all better?"

The nice side of Zetsu face stared for a while, before he started bawling. The angry side looked annoyed as tears streamed down one side of their face. "Ahhh!! I know that!! I gu-guess that's why I'm t-taking it out on S-Sasori.. it's not his f-fault!! W-well, it is, bu-but he's only do-doing what e-everyone else is doing!! My f-family w-will never be at pe-peace!! I-I can't do anything!! Oh good lord.. I'm s-sorry!! For crying out loud.. P-please forgive me!! And this was the hotshot trying to destroy Sasori.. geez.."

Sasori pulled himself from the tree, noting the fractures on his body. One broken arm, his knees needed to be replaced, though it wasn't serious yet, and the side of his torso needed some repairs. Sometimes Sasori hated Zetsu's mood swings. No wait, he always hated Zetsu's mood swings.

"Alright, now that every thing's settled, mind leaving my room? I've got a lot of work to do, thanks to this moody cactus.."

Tobi patted Zetsu on the shoulder, stood up, and stuck his hand out in case Zetsu needed assistance. "It's all right, Zetsu-san, at least you know what you were doing was wrong, now that you've said sorry we'll get you some help to deal with your family crisis across the globe." As he turned to exit, a magical studio audience from Maury appeared and called out "To-bi! To-bi! To-bi!" As the credits rolled by.

Zetsu jumped up and hugged Tobi's arm, sniffing and rubbing his eyes into it. "R-really..?? This is so manly.. You promise..?? That's it, I'm going to sleep. I've had enough for today.."

The angry Zetsu closed his eyes, and only nice Zetsu was left, sniffling and hugging Tobi's arm, in full control of the body for now.

"Uh, yeah..." Tobi shook his arm, trying to get Zetsu off. For once in his life, Tobi wasn't being a spaz. "Tobi and Zetsu-san can go out every Saturday and plant ten trees each. Then we can figure out how to make the Akatsuki base more environmentally friendly, and THEN we can hand out flyer's made from recycled paper telling people what we learned and how they can help." He slowly dragged Him and Zetsu out the door. "And Tobi's sure that once the Akatsuki takes over the whole world, we'll have power over how we use the plants."

He then briskly waved to Sasori, pretending nothing happened. "Bye-bye Sasori, sorry for the inconvenience! By the way, Tobi's leaving for a while to make more money for the Akatsuki, so bye-bye! Tobi loves you!"

"Good for you, Tobi. By the way, it's interesting how you man handle Zetsu like that. Convienient. Heh.." He watched Tobi drag Zetsu out of the room, then growled. "Damn group members and their constant spazzing.."

"You really mean it, Tobi..?? Yay!!" You couldn't get anymore flamboyant than Zetsu at that very moment. He squeezed Tobi's arm and jumped up and down as he was dragged out of the destroyed room. "Thank you thank you thank you!! We love you, Tobi!!"

"WA-HOOO!" Tobi held up his hands in victory, crying anime tears of joy. "Tobi has been reconized as the good boy he really is! He is not a waste, but in fact, the best boy ever!" Then he did the Chinchilla happy dance before feeling a slight draft and stood up strait. "Although, Tobi's slightly cold, he should get his clothes on and get outta her quick and celebrate when he gets back.." He nodded to Zetsu. "Do you think that's a good plan?"

He gave an annoyed expression. "It's a fantastic plan, now please get out of my room."