Break Time

He waved his hand in front of his face. "Yeah, I guess not. Maybe you're just a homo. Annnyyywaaaay..." He drew a penis beside a penis and then a circle beside a circle. "If two guys love each other, there's no vagina to stick the penis in, so what do they do?" It was a rhetorical question and he didn't wait for an answer. "They stick it up each other's butts! I don't understand how this could feel good at all but apparently they like it so kudos to them!" Then he pointed to the two circles. "I have no clue how two girls have sex so don't ask me, kay? Of course these two ways won't give you a baby, a baby only works with a boy and a girl, alright? Is this all making it through your little pip-squeak brain, Gar-Gar?"

"Just because I do not understand the uselessness of whatever you're teaching me, does not mean my brain is of a less compatible state than others." He growled slightly. "It merely determines whether I'd like to understand topics of utter pointlessness."

Naruto blinked a few times and squinted at Gaara. "Com..pa..tee..bull? Alright, you just keep talking in your jibberish, but I'm not gonna understand any of it, ok?" He plunked himself down cross-legged and smiled at Gaara even though this was a very unnecessary time to do it. "Well, that's the just of it." He slapped the chalkboard, spinning it to the clear back side. "Any questions popping up in yer head now?"

He stared at Naruto, a lot of questions popping up in his head but he refused to ask most of them. "Why I need to know any of this."

"Cuz it's the way of life! One day, when you're older, you're gonna want to have a baby, so you gotta know how it works! And even if you don't want to have a baby, you still need to know what to do! What if your girlfriend's like:" Naruto raised his voice a pitch to match a seemingly good girl impression. "'Gaara, I want you in me so bad! You're so smexy and you're making me so horny I think I'm gonna cum just from looking at you!' And you're like: 'Dude, I have no idea what to do...' Well, then you're screwed! So you've gotta know this stuff cuz even if you don't care now, you will in the future."

Going over his answer in his mind, Naruto realized he needed to make a few adjustments. "Of course, in your case, you might get a boyfriend, in which you have to learn this stuff even more! Cuz you know, you do have that.. uhh.. what's it called... 'Superior' personality which means you'll be on top. And no bottom wants to be sitting there waiting to be pounded up the ass while his seme is all: 'I dun know what to do! Maybe I should wait for them to kiss me.. Wah wah wah, I dun know if they want it or not, wah wah wah, where do I stick it in..?' That's called being a pussy, my man, having no balls. You gotta have balls in sex or you'll be screwed."

His eyes widened and he sat there, his expression having 'what the hell?!?' written all over it. His mouth opened slightly, his head tilting to the side and one of his eyes twitching. What bugged him the most is that he now understood everything, and he was picturing it.

Naruto's smile died down but refused to fade. "I guess he's trying to process it, huh?" After a few seconds he leaned forward and waved his hand in front of Gaara's face, then snapped his fingers, then leaned back and whipped the piece of chalk at his friend, hoping it would trigger his sand and wake him up.

The sand didn't even come to save him, and the piece of chalk merely hit his cheek and fell down. His expression stayed the same, and the images continued to run through his head.

"Uh, Gaara..?" He cocked his head to the side, a little surprised that the sand didn't come to his rescue. "What's up? You're brain get frazzled? Do you not get something?" He scooched himself over to his friend and picked up at handful of sand and piled it on the haired boy's head, continuing to add to it. "Gaara, you should be kicking my ass right about now. Are you gonna wake up or what?"

He blinked, turned his head slowly to look at Naruto. The sand ontop of his head fell off, and his expression hadn't changed. He stared for a few seconds, then his face went completely red and he jumped up, still facing Naruto, and ended up falling back down. He covered his mouth, turning his body around and hiding his face. All of this was completely unlike him in any way possible.

ooc: haha, he's acting like me..

Naruto blinked before leaning forward and shaking Gaara's shoulder, he was now really concerned. "Hey, Gaara, are you alright? Really, I'm getting scared, you're not sick or something are you? I didn't think you'd take it so badly, please don't be mad, ok? Tell Naru-kun what's wrong."

((ooc: Yay for Gaara? ))

"..." He slowly lifted his head and peeked up at Naruto. "..Uh.."

He hid his face again, making it seem pointless that he looked up at Naruto in the first place.

ooc: Super yayz for Gaara! He's the spittin' image. But he better not act like this when he's older. Naruto doesn't want to smex him if he's gonna be a wuss.

Naruto sighed, at least Gaara was ok when it came to health. He shook his shoulder again. "What? You getting a boner or something?" He grinned. "Am I turning you on, Gar-Gar?"

((ooc: Lmao got it XD))

"Whaaaaaaaaaatttt!?!" He jumped up again, turning around, but this time keeping his balance. He pointed at Naruto, his face still red but looking more like a mix of anger and embarrassment than what it had looked like before. "You..! I..! What..! Why..!! ....Damn it!!"

Naruto jumped back and blinked a few times, very confused yet amused at the same time. "Why're you freaking out? I can't understand you when you talk so choppy." He leaned a bit forward and cupped a hand to his ear. "What's that? You wanna have sex right now?" He grinned, returned to his normal stance. "Gaara, you horny boy! Control yourself!"

"Gyaaaaaahhhhh!!!" He put his hands to his head, turning around. He pulled his hands from his head, shaking his fists around. "Err... no!! Noo!! Get..!! Go!! No!!!"

This sent Naruto flying to the ground in a fit of laughter for about thirty seconds. Then he wiped a happy tear from his eye and propped himself up in the sand. "So then what's really going on? You keep getting mad when I try to decipher what you're saying but you're not helping me one bit by calming down."

His breathing was heavy, and he had an enraged expression. He glared at Naruto, crossing his arms and turning his head. "I. Don't. Know."

Naruto pointed at him wildly, still grinning. "You're panting! You're panting! You were thinking of something naughty, weren't you?! Ha, I knew it! You're a closet pervert! I bet you were imagining me naked on your bed wishing for your hot, bloated, member inside me!" Another laughing smasm hit him and he fell over.

"NOO!!" He jumped, pointing at Naruto again. Stumbling over a few words, he finally just gave up on talking and gave a loud growl. He turned around, sitting down and crossing his arms again, grumbling to himself as he kept his back to Naruto, angry. And sort of embarressed, just because his mind had traveled to 'naughty' places right after Naruto had made his last comment.

Naruto rolled over, stuffed a handful of sand in his mouth and walked over to Gaara. He placed his hand's on the boy's head and leaned over it, staring at him from an upside down angle. "Ok-mmpphh. Now I-thh can'thh mac fun 'o you-thh. But-tthhh I'm-z cuwious-thhh. What-tthhh did I-th dooo to mac te cat-tthh get your tongue?"

He stared at Naruto, his face looking as though he were giving an angry pout. "Nothing. Forget it. Drop it. Leave it alone, it doesn't matter, just shut up about it already!"

Naruto stayed in his position but stuck out his tongue, caked in sand, and blew it at Gaara until his mouth was completely cleared of the annoying grains. Even with his tongue out, you could see the pouting expression he mimicked from Gaara easily. "I rather not."

With extra sand on his face, his expression never changed. "Well I will, so you can just forget it anyway."

Now he looked annoyed. "Ah, Gaara, you're such a jerk!" He pulled himself up to his regular stance and cupped his hands behind his head. "But I'm too tired from teaching you to fight, so I guess I'll just have to do my job.." He glanced between the chalkboard and back to Gaara. "I'm sure you have questions on what we've just discussed. In fact, I won't let you leave until you ask me them, so fire away my dick-headed pupil."