Break Time

And imaginary arrow with the word 'girl-like' stabbed into Naruto's back. He pictured himself wearing a tight leather shirt that was loosely tied with string down his chest, revealing side boobs. He had an extremely short mini skirt on, and of course, high-heels and massive amounts of lipstick.

This picture was fucking disturbing so he threw it in the mind garbage bin.

Then he smirked evilly at Gaara, eagerly accepting his debate. "What makes you say that? I'm totally manly, mister 'walking talking lolipop called me a girl'." He snickered.

"Manly?" He almost laughed. Almost. "Well, that guy had one eye, and he probably couldn't see out of it very well(reminds me of Buck O_o). So that doesn't count. Besides, no uke could be more manly than a seme, Naruto-chan. That's just the way it is."

He wasn't exactly sure why he was having this debate in the first place.

He stuck his finger out, an inch away from Gaara's nose, and swooshed it back and forward. "No no no, my tiny sand tomato. I wouldn't be the uke in our couple. I have abs of steel, uke's don't have abs. And I'm three centimeters taller than you. Everybody knows whoever is taller is seme." Naruto moved beside Gaara, pinching his cheek in a grandmotherly way. "And you'd just look so cuuuuuuute in a bondage kitty suit, me-yow."

ooc: that height comment he made is pissing me off.
*beats Naruto with a stick*
There, all better.

He stared at Naruto for a bit, then started laughing. Despite how utterly confused he was at the fact that he was laughing, he couldn't stop himself. Finally, though, when he calmed himself down, he looked back to Naruto. "Actually, I'm taller than you. You may not have realized because I'm always slouching."

"And if I'm anything like my father, who's six foot nine, I won't be a 'tiny sand tomato' for long, my little tree banana."He was grinning now, another addition to how confusing his behaviour had been. "And the bondage kitty suit isn't my thing, but it's nice to know your thinking of me in one."

"Oh, you have abs of steel, eh?" He shook his head. "And I don't?"

((ooc: Lmao what's funny is Gaara is actually a few inches taller than Naruto right now XD

And he slouches a LOT, thanks to the gourd, so this all makes sense ))

"Of course," His eyes sparkled theatrically and he clasped his hands together, whirling about. "Every night I dream of you, sexy and ready for the whip." He froze in mid turn. "You wish." And scoffed just as dramatically. Then he crouched and poked Gaara's belly. "You call those 'abs'? More like miniature sand tumors."

Standing up straight, he pulled up his sleeve. "But when all's said and done, what really matters is upper body strength, that's how you hold em down." He paused to flash a suggestive grin at Gaara and then continued. "Show me your guns and then we'll see who's the uke in this fanfiction pair!"

ooc: ooh, ooh, me an Gaara are future back deformation buddies! X3 We may be tall but our backs are crap so we can't walk! Yay!

"Heh.. I'll show you my guns.." He took his gourd off his back, placing it beside him and turning his neck slightly, listening as it cracked. Just to add more cracking effect, or something like that, it was probably just out of habit, he put his hands together and cracked all his knuckles at once. While giving a smirk to the ground, his eyes closed, he suddenly grabbed Naruto's shoulders and pinned him to the random tree that was nearby, moving his hands so that he was holding both of the blond's wrist with one hand.

He moved his lips near Naruto's ear, much like in the Chuunin exam stadium. He blew lightly near it, still smirking. "You would not make a good seme, my little kitten. And I think you'd much rather the whip used upon you then you the one using it."


((ooc: O_O))

Naruto grimaced at Gaara, and as quickly as the sand ninja had had him up to the tree, Naruto slipped out of his grip with much ease and head butted him in the stomach. He crossed his arms and stared at Gaara, who, by the power of Naruto's RPer, was crouched on the sand. "I never knew sweaty hands could help me in a life-or-rape situation." He said quickly before jumping on top of the redhead, using only his elbows to hold him down, leaving his hands free to lightly sail his fingertips across Gaara's lips. "I think I like it up here, now I'm never taking the bottom, believe it."

"Hm.." He gave an earnest expression, staring up at Naruto as the blonde's fingertips touched his lips lightly. Despite the fact that being uke hadn't bothered him, though the fact that he was thinking about all this in the first place did, he wasn't going to let himself be on the bottom. Within seconds, he had sunken into the ground, turning into sand, and it was all Naruto was laying on top of now. Gaara was suddenly back on top and pinning Naruto to the ground this time. "Determined, aren't you?"

He grinned, leaning in and biting Naruto's neck lightly. "Why don't you just accept that your uke and that's that.."

"Be...cause.." He strained, trying to do a push up, which was not possible because he was strong, but not as strong as he thought he was. Then a little realization bubble popped into his head like that fucking paper clip on microsoft word. He turned his head to stare at Kankuro who was across the sand, probably wondering how his relaxation had turned into a sex romp between his little brother and an obnoxious Konoha brat. Naruto called to him, not even embarrassed about anything the puppet master saw. "Hey, Neko-Enji, out of me and your brother, which is most... seme-ish. You can't be biased or anything, just out of what you know about me and him, who's less passive?"

ooc: by the way, Naruto has officially decided to call Kankuro cat-lipstick in japanese from now on. X3

"Huuhh...?" He looked over, seeing the position they were in and what Gaara was doing while giving short glances up at him. "Uhh.. uh.. um.. er.. I.. um.."

He looked away, finding it easier to talk that way. "Well... G-Gaara doesn't really like people telling him what to do.. and he doesn't necessarily listen, either.. and I'm not so sure about you.. right now.. you.. um.. look more passive. Then again, you know, this whole ordeal is surprising, so who knows if there's a lot more surprises to come.."

((ooc: Lol cat-lipstick XD))

Naruto sent 'pissed off' vibes in Kankuro's direction, but since he wasn't looking at them, the vibes had no affect. So he rolled out quite easily from under Gaara and dusted himself off. "Well, you don't know me enough to give your opinion, so that doesn't count." He crossed his arms and pouted.

Gaara sat up, sitting in the sand with a smirk that stayed on his face despite how much he tried to get rid of it. For a brief second, he believed that he may have been drugged. But who would drug him? So that's why the thought left him.

"Heh.."

Naruto's shady eyes passed to Gaara and he kinda felt like punching him out but decided to let it go. Instead he clasped his hands behind his head and grinned. "Well, it was only hypothetical anyway, we'd only know the real answer if it was a real situation, which it's not so I guess we'll never know." He shrugged.

"True, it doesn't really matter." Though, at that second, he realized it was a lot easier to rid his face of the smirk than it had been previously. But it didn't go away just yet. "You looked annoyed for a second, though. And you were pretty determined. Are you sure your not looking for the real thing, Naruto?"

He stuck out his chin. "I dunno, Gaara. While I've been trying to rid ourselves of the conversation, someone keeps bringing it back up. You sure seem to think about gay sex a lot, Mr. Seme."

"Considering who my somewhat family members are, I honestly wouldn't be surprised." He smiled. "It's natural for me to think about stuff like this, though, it seems as though I'm bringing your gay side out by being like this, Naruto. Your prides at stake, maybe I should hold off, hmm?"

Naruto had a little brain malfunction then and decided since he didn't really understand anything anymore, he'd use ancient masters' philosophy of ninja.

If you can't see them, they can't see you.

So he sat down and stuck his head in the sand and talked from that position which was about the stupidest thing one could do since sand was liable to be thrown down one's windpipe. "Aarg... Suna is so demented! I've got sand layered in my butt crack, everyone is either a gay rapist or dresses like it's Halloween in Afghanistan, and I'm so hot I can't even think strait anymore!" He breathed in for the first time, coughed up the sand that had sucked into his mouth, and added, "Believe it..."

If he had eyebrows, they would have been raised. Gaara stared at Naruto, wondering what he was doing and why he was doing it. "Konoha is so ignorant. If you don't like it, why are you here? To merely put down their ways of life and culture? Are all Konoha people like you?"

He eyed Naruto's bright get-up. "Why do you look like your trying to camouflage into a pile of oranges?"

He wasn't necessarily sticking up for Suna, which was why he said 'their' and not 'our', but he was actually trying to understand social behaviour. And also to try to get on Naruto's nerves, that was always fun, or so it seemed.

He pulled his head out of the sand, his face encrusted in the dry grains. He grinned enthusiastically, which made him look like a demented sand monster. "Of course none of Konoha is like me, that's what makes me the best. No one has the guts to go what I do, I stand out as number one. No matter what crowd I'm in, the rest are just wannabees." Then he frowned and started peeling crusts of sand off his face. "And I did have a reason for being here besides making fun of everyone but my reason isn't so important anymore." He was almost pouting now, almost.

Staring at Naruto's sand covered dementedly grinning face reminded Gaara of himself. "Of course.. I don't ever plan to wear a bright coloured jumpsuit and shout believe it while shoving ramen in peoples faces.."

Giving Naruto a strange expression, he questioned him. "What was your reason for being here?"

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and held up his arms questioningly."I dunno, Gaara. Maybe you tell me. Maybe I came here to see if Suna's ramen is as good as ours. Or maybe I came here to do some sun bathing. Or maybe I decided to see what's new in the latest mattress wear. Or maybe..." He then abruptly glomped Gaara. "I came to see my best friend!" And he gave him what can only be described as 'a wet willy'.

He jumped and slapped Naruto's hand away from his ear, giving a loud 'arg' sound while clutching his ear. "Okay, I think I might be used to the sudden outrageous hugging by now.. but do friends always shove their saliva covered fingers into each others ears?!"

Naruto fell back laughing, pointing at Gaara mockingly. "These friends do!" Then he jumped up and grabbed Gaara in a headlock, noogying him. "But only the best of friends do this!"

His face showed confusion, but the fact that he let Naruto give him a noogey was probably one of the most confusing things about this scene. He mumbled something, then stared blankly at the sand. "Why?"

((ooc: Ooppsies.. yeah, now Naruto has a good reason to laugh at Gaara more. Yeah, there was a bit of a mistake

Actually, Gaara's DAD was the 6'5 one and... uhh.. Gaara... actually.. is really... a shrimp... heh.. growing to be... uh...5'5...

Heh.. my bad..

And.. um.. right now, he's only.. er... 4'11.. ...))

"Huh?" Naruto plopped himself down on the sand beside Gaara and he scratched his cheek nervously. "Heh, I was just kidding. I don't really know what best friends do, I don't think it matters." He thought for a second before drawing a circle in the sand with his finger. "I think I heard something about pillow fights, but we're only supposed to do that when we sleep together."

ooc: poor choice of words, Naruto. O.o