Naruto's too sexy for his shirt

"Get over it, you had it coming to you." He leaned one elbow on his knee, putting his hand on his cheek and leaning into it. He used the other hand to try to rub off the lipstick all over his face, looking at the back of his hand afterwards and seeing it was almost completely smudged with make-up. "One, it was merely to get you off of me, and it served it's purpose very well, two, I won't have a future girlfriend, and three, stop checking yourself out in front of me."

Naruto steamed at Gaara, fuming, opening his mouth and then closing it again. He went back to his ass which had lessened in its over-all redness and broke out in deep crimson marks which Naruto guessed were finger or finger nail outlines. His pout grew and he scooched towards Gaara, still looking at his butt. "I'm not checking myself out, I'm just peeking to make sure the merchendise is ok.." He then abruptely turned arounf, still sitting, and pulled his pants down enough so Gaara could see half his crack and planty of the red marks. "Do those look like bruises to you?" He asked innocently enough, a lingering cuteness hung about his somewhat concern.

"What th-!?" He closed his eyes, turning his head and growling. "Get your ass away from my face and stop being mello-dramatic!"

"I am not being melodramatic!" He looked over his shoulder at Gaara angerly. "If I was being melodramatic I would be sitting on your lap, crying, with my pants completely off, asking you if I was gonna die! Would you like me to be melodramatic or can I stay the way I am, pants only partially off and asking a reasonable question?!"

He growled, leaning back and lifting his foot, putting it on Naruto's backside and pushing him over. "You can keep your 'reasonable' questions to yourself. I don't need to hear you complain about something that you asked for. It would make more sense if I were to complain, but I'm not. So stop whining."

Naruto fell over on his belly, hitting the carpets face first since his hands were busy making sure his pants didn't fall completely off. He pulled them up a bit and pouted, looking at Gaara, his face still being smooshed on the floor. "I'm not whining, meany. I'm just a teensy bit worried. And by the way, you make a lovely prome queen. Go get a sex change."

"Over nothing." He sighed, crossing his arms . "And I don't believe I'll be doing that anytime soon, maybe you should try it."

As A.D.D prone as he was, Naruto suddenly realized something about th room and, forgetting all about his tiff, he sat up and looked around. "Hey.. Where do you keep your clothes...? And pee.. Where do you go pee?"

"..." He stared at Naruto, wondering why the blond was always so random and wired. "It is none of your concern."

"It's none of my concern?" He blinked several times and then inhaled, shouting at the top of his lungs, grinning all the while. "I NEED TO PEEEEE!"

"Hm.." He turned his head, looking to the door. "There is a bathroom... near the Kazekage's office."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "You go there everytime you need to pee and brush your teeth?" He shook his head and crossed his arms. "No way. I'll hold it in."

He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I don't have a problem with it. I'm not going to say that you shouldn't either, but if you hold it it's only going to get worse soon enough."

He glanced around the room. "Can't I just go in the corner or something? You're house is kinda scary and it's probably already getting dark.." Then he looked back at Gaara, stiff lipped. "Not that I'm so afraid. It's just a bit creepy..."

"You seem to be one who is unable to handle creepiness. How you and I became friends is quite a wonder." He stared at Naruto, then looked to the corner. "Do as you please, I suppose. This room is nothing more than a prison cell."

He turned around, facing the wall, and crossed his arms.

Naruto nodded briskly and, unable to think ahead of what a stench it would cause, he went over to the farthest corner and peed himself what would seem to be the world's longest pee. He looked down at his spout as he talked to Gaara from afar. "Ooh! I have a special treat just for you and you're gonna love it, you know that?" He giggled. "And it's not a golden shower, heh heh."

"Oh really.." He replied, leaning his elbow on his knee and putting his hand on his cheek. "Not a golden shower? Hm, that really brings down the excitement, I don't care anymore now."

He laughed even more at this and wizzled his wiz until it was all dried out. Then he scampered back to Gaara and all his bags which seemed to hold the world and pulled out a sparkler and some matches. He lit a match and held the sparkler in between his and Gaara's face, staring at it mesmerized. "...Isn't it super cool..?"

"...." He stared at the sparkler, then looked at Naruto, then sighed and stared at the wall. "It's amazing."

He stuck out his tongue slightly in concentration until the sparkler fizzed out. Then he threw it in the direction of the corner he just pissed in. "See? It was like a magic show and it'll keep the room from smelling up. Smart eh?" Then he reached into his bag and brought out two cups. "But that wasn't the main event. I've always wanted to try this stuff and now we'll be beer buddies!" He reached back into his bag and shuffled around until he picked out two bottles of Kirin Ichiban number 9, the beer known in Japan as the highest alcohol percent as well as, little known to Naruto, the one that gets you drunk the quickest.

He sighed, looking to Naruto again. "Beer buddies... fantastic."

He poured the bottles into the gigantic cups and passed one to Gaara. Then he held out his own and grinned. "Let's chug it! Count to three, 'kay?"

"I'm not chugging anything." He looked at the giant cup he was holding, one eye twitching at the scent of the alcohol. With a quiet sigh, he supposed the two of them getting drunk to the point of dying wouldn't be any big deal. "One, two, three."

Naruto's face lit up on three and a second later it was lost in the gorging of the forbidden drink. He shut his eyes tight as some drops splashed on his face and tried to focus on the drink at hand. But it was strong and tasted like nothing he liked so he almost gagged it up before putting the cup down, not even half empty. A smile came across his alcohol-foamed lips. "That tasted-" He coughed, "-incredibly nasty. I guess it's not supposed to be chugged, heheh.."

"I would guess not." He replied, drinking his the way he preferred, which didn't involve chugging it. After drinking the same amount as Naruto, he put it down, his expression not quite appealed, and he shook his head as if to rid the taste. "It.. does taste incredibly horrid.."